Whitney Biennial 2024

2024

A woman and child embrace amid falling confetti, with one comforting the other who appears distressed with a bloody mark on their face.

Transcription: Diane Severin Nguyen, In Her Time (Iris’s Version), 2023-2024

Running Time: 01:02:32

Speaker 1 (in Chinese): They grab me by my feet and drag me to a dark room. There are already a lot of women in the room, including a child. My family is already dead at this point. I need to use my body language to express the emotions of my struggle and pain at that moment. 

Speaker 2 (deep, artificial voice offscreen speaks in English): Do you have any lines here? 

Speaker 1 (in Chinese): No, I don’t have lines. I think there will be music. I think the music will let the audience feel the emotions greatly. 

(Soft acoustic guitar music begins to play. The sound of a film reel rolling. Drums and electric guitar join the music.)

(A woman sings.)

♪ In her time ♪

(Acoustic guitar continues and then fades slowly.)

(People speak in Chinese. A gunshot is fired.)

Speaker 3 (offscreen, in English): Cut!

Speaker 1 (in Chinese): Freedom is never easy. It is not a gesture nor a posture. Freedom is eternally overcoming gravity, struggling to fly upwards. 

Eternally overcoming gravity, struggling to fly upwards.

Eternally overcoming gravity, struggling to fly upwards.

Eternally overcoming gravity, struggling to fly upwards.

Freedom is never easy. 

(Amusement park noises.)

Freedom is never easy. It is not a gesture nor a posture. Freedom is eternally overcoming gravity, struggling to fly upwards. 

Freedom is never easy. It is not a gesture nor a posture. Freedom is eternally overcoming gravity, struggling to fly upwards. 

(Acoustic guitar slowly plays.)

It is foggy over there on the mountain. It is smoggy. It’s like a fairyland.

I really like that ferris wheel, but I’ve never been on it once.

Maybe some people think I’m weird, especially strangers. I don’t notice them. 

Immerse myself into my own world.

(Heavy shallow breaths.)

I have two worlds. In one world, everything belongs to you. I am a prisoner whose soul will be imprisoned forever. I can die for you or live for you. In the other world I don’t belong to you, I do not belong to myself. I am just a pawn of the historical mission.

I have two worlds. In one world, everything belongs to you. I am a prisoner whose soul will be imprisoned forever. I can die for you or live for you. In the other world I don’t belong to you, I do not belong to myself. I am just a pawn of the historical mission. I am just a pawn of the historical mission.

Speaker 2 (in English): I’m just a pawn of the historical mission.

Speaker 1 (in Chinese): In my past roles, they were mostly insignificant extra roles. It was like I would show up on camera and then disappear very quickly. Sometimes I’ve gotten simple lines and sometimes no speaking lines. Anyways, it was insignificant.

(Acoustic guitar plays.)

My childhood…the life itself was pretty rich, very interesting. I would go out with friends, climb trees, play by the river. We would go to the mountains together, steal peaches from neighbors. The life was pretty interesting, but my parents were barely around. They were never there for me during my whole childhood. Left behind children…

I know I have changed 

I know I have changed

I didn’t like the me before, and I don’t like the me now

I am used to pretending to be fake, but also because everyone pretends to me. 

Only to you, I told the truth. But you couldn’t hear it.

But you couldn’t hear it.

Speaker 2: Maomao.

Speaker 1: Sorry.

(Heavy shallow breathing followed by a sneeze. The sound of a loud explosion.)

Speaker 1: Sure, I believe everyone has that kind of, how do I say, a dark side…it’s just that we all need to control ourselves in real life. Draw a line in the sand. Even acting like a bad person is a type of release. It makes a person more dimensional. You will see a complete person.

(Sings in Chinese.)

This is the city wall of death. There is no fragrance of flowers, no insects. Even if there are flowers, even if there are insects, they are all singing songs of parting. Accompanying the endless loneliness of the dead. 

Even if there are flowers, even if there are insects, they are all singing songs of parting. Accompanying the endless loneliness of the dead. This is the city wall of death. There is no fragrance of flowers, no insects. Even if there are flowers, even if there are insects. 

(Acoustic guitar plays.)

Speaker 2 (in English): 1937.

Speaker 1 (in Chinese): What I’m about to play is exactly the role I just talked about. It is a role full of power, hope, and ambition. I really like it. 

(The sound of a radio crackling.)

Speaker 2 (in English): It is a role full of power, hope, and ambition. 

Speaker 1 (in Chinese): And then he struck another match in front of me. He is like a heavy rain, which can get you wet quickly. But when the clouds drift away, it is others who get wet. I was like a match he struck. I turned to ashes in an instant. And he struck another match in front of me. 

Speaker 2 (in English): Again. Again. Again!

Speaker 1 (in Chinese): He is like a heavy rain, which can get you wet quickly. But when the clouds drift away, it is others who get wet. I was like a match he struck. I turned to ashes in an instant. And he struck another match in front of me. 

He is like a heavy rain, which can get you wet quickly. But when the clouds drift away, it is others who get wet. I was like a match he struck. I turned to ashes in an instant. And he struck another match in front of me. 

Real change? I doubt that. I don’t think it’s possible for everyone. But it depends on what you think about the meaning of progress. 

(Fast, upbeat acoustic guitar plays.)

Speaker 3 (offscreen, in English): Give it a shot. I have no preference. Break the mold. 

Speaker 1 (in Chinese): Half of my life was met with cold eyes, and more cold eyes. 

Unwilling.

Unwilling.

The greatest pain and misfortune in my life is because I am a woman and I died first. 

Unwilling.

Unwilling. 

The greatest pain and misfortune in my life is because I am a woman. 

Unwilling.

Unwilling.

They are the kind of people who don’t know where the light is. They’ve only known coldness. They want to get rid of the coldness, but this attempt can only bring more sorrow. 

They are the kind of people who don’t know where the light is. They’ve only known coldness. They want to get rid of the coldness, but this attempt can only bring more sorrow. 

They are the kind of people who don’t know where the light is. They’ve only known coldness. They want to get rid of the coldness, but this attempt can only bring more sorrow. 

No! No! No! No! No! 

Maomao! Maomao! Maomao! Maomao! (cries) 

Maomao. (cries)

(Upbeat music with strings and synth plays). 

This time, we are fighting for the country. We would rather be dead ghosts than nationless slaves. For our wives, family, children, we must fight until the very end.

(Upbeat music with strings and synth continues to play.)

I would sleep. Other than sleep, I really want to go to some places. Somewhere like a village only few people know. Live a rural life. 

So I feel like everyday my life feels like rehearsing lines, even when there’s no work. Repeating, rehearsing, every day is like this. So I think, only when I’m on camera, when I immerse myself into a character, I feel I’m real. I feel I’m alive. 

I don’t think it depends on the skill, I think it depends on the emotion. Be real, be honest, passion, true feelings, be honest, passion, true feelings. 

Be honest, be real, have true feelings. 

(Soft electric guitar plays.) 

Recently, I feel that tears fill my eyes. Hot. They often make my eye circles burn, yet they never tumbled down even once. Sometimes they stand at the tip of the eyelash shining with glassy liquid. I often see it in the mirror. 

Recently, I feel that my eyes. 

Recently, I feel that tears fill my eyes. Hot. They often make my eye circles burn, yet they never tumbled down even once. Sometimes they stand at the tip of the eyelash shining with glassy liquid. I often see it in the mirror. 

(Soft acoustic guitar plays.)

I wasn’t a bird in a cage. 

A bird in a cage, when the cage is opened, can still fly away.

They are the kind of people who don’t know where the light is.

I was a bird embroidered onto a screen.

Sometimes they stand at the tip of the eyelash.

Stitched onto a screen of melancholy satin.

They’ve only known coldness.

A white bird in clouds of gold. 

He is like a heavy rain, which can get you wet quickly. 

The years passed; the bird’s feathers darkened.

They’ve only known coldness. 

Mildewed, and were eaten by moths. 

They were the kind of people who don’t know where the light is.

But the bird stayed on the screen even in death.

(The sound of people yelling and weapons clanking together.)

I usually spend a lot of time preparing for the character because some roles are far away from my real life. I do a lot of research for the role in advance, especially looking at images. They make you feel something directly. The era we are in, the background of it, we can get it directly. I try to get my emotions together before the shooting. I try to recall the films I’ve seen and then I really put myself into them. Images. Immerse myself into that world. Keep it that way until the shooting starts. 

(Soft acoustic guitar plays.)

(A single, soft gunshot. Light footsteps on leaves mixed with the small noises of birds and insects. A low steady drum beat followed by the mechanical sound of a film reeling.) 

(The sound of people yelling and weapons clanking together. The light trickling of a stream of water and birds tweeting. Three loud gunshots.)

(A dissonant synth plays, shifting into a slow melody played on electric guitar. Cries can be heard intermittently while the guitar plays.)

These memories. I am willing to forget these memories. However, before forgetting, I am very willing to, I am very willing to review them again. 

(Soft electric guitar continues. Loud sounds like gunshots mixed with loud, wet pops and heavy, shallow breathing.)

He is like a heavy rain, he is like a heavy rain, which can get you wet quickly, but when the clouds drift away. 

He is like a heavy rain, which can get you wet quickly, but when the clouds drift away, it is others who get wet, it is others who get wet. 

He is like a heavy rain. 

He is like a heavy rain, which can get you wet quickly, but when the clouds drift away, it is others who get wet.

I…I…I…I was like, I was like a match he struck. I turned to ashes in an instant and then he struck another match in front of me. 

(The sound of fireworks, rapid piano music, and yelling.)

(Men speaking German on television while the rapid piano music continues.)

(A loud phone alarm sounds.) 

(Soft music turns into the aggressive yelling of a group of men. Synth music plays. Heavy labored breath sounds. Slow, soft music punctuated with the sound of a gun cocking and shooting.)

Resentful. It feels like there’s a fire burning in my heart. But you can not explain even if you explained they would not believe it. They only believe what they think people don’t understand, people outside themselves. They only understand themselves. It depends on the film and the director. Sometimes I can’t be…too idealistic.

I really don’t want to do this, but I have to. 

(Soft crying and heavy breathing.) 

It’s mostly their desires. The desires they have. That’s what I’m curious about. 

(Soft acoustic guitar plays.)

Because I think at that time, I wasn’t ready to get into the character. I didn’t act what I wanted to be like, the emotion I was supposed to have. The emotion was not enough. I think it was not enough. 

(Soft acoustic guitar continues to play.)

To be honest, if I say no regrets, this is not possible. Of course I have regrets. It’s more like back and forth. Sometimes I regret it. I still want to stick with it after I regret it. I’m in this kind of situation over and over again but in the bottom of my heart I’m pretty persistent I would love to keep doing it. 

(Soft acoustic guitar continues to play with other ambient music.)

I can change things through influence. I can give out the energy to influence others. 

(Slow, deep drum beats with the distorted sounds of far away screams. Labored breathing and the sound of windchimes. A fire crackles loudly. Upbeat synth music plays.)

I’m happy for my transformation. I have a quiet appearance but deep inside of me there have been many different women. If I hadn’t created my own world, I would have died in someone else’s.

I know I have changed. I didn’t like the me before. And I don’t like the me now. I will go back and become a new person. 

And become a new person. 

(The sound of a film reel rolling.) 

My biggest fear is that people will stop paying attention to me. 

(Ethereal synth sounds play. A heavy bass drops and the music becomes more rhythmically upbeat. The music shifts into soft acoustic guitar sounds.) 

Are you young? It doesn’t matter. After two years, you will become old. 

(Synths with heavy bass resumes.)

This is the last scene, so I need to use my body to express the pain and struggle of that moment. 


Diane Severin Nguyen, still from In Her Time (Iris’s Version), 2023-2024. HD video, color, sound; 67 min. © Diane Severin Nguyen

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